The Broken Heart Diet

Popcorn Tooth-Fuckers (because you may as well lose a crown while you are at it)

* Prepare bag of microwave popcorn with extra salt and butter.
* Add box of “Sugar Babies” candy directly to popcorn bag while still hot.

(NOTE:  “Sugar Babies” are an old-timey chewy caramel candy still available
at Walgreens and other old-timey stores.)

* Close popcorn bag and shake until candy is sufficiently coated with butter and salt.
* Sit ass in front of TV.
* Stuff mouth to capacity and chew vigorously while watching Netflix.

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